As the Diva herself Ru Paul says: “If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else!" Can I get an Amen in here?
For centuries, people have used Valentine's Day as an opportunity for romance and passion, but finding your true love isn't always the key to happiness. For a healthy, happy relationship to thrive, it's all about self-love!
Most of us have at least some insecurities that can cause us to feel as though we're not good enough. This in turn affects how we show up day after day. We may feel we are unable to be our authentic selves, struggle to open up or admit our true feelings or opinions for fear of being judged, rejected or abandoned.
Add to this the onslaught of images from social media, using ring lights, filters and photoshopped until they barely resemble the original. We have seen padding used to sculpt the perfect butts in booty shorts, and the growing accessibility and affordability of injectables means we are using them in greater numbers and starting at a younger age. There is a lot of pressure to look perfect these days.
We are all being subjected to unrealistic and unachievable aesthetics that will no doubt cause us to feel inadequate. We are slowly losing our ability to be ourselves. So how do we get back to feeling comfortable in our own skin and loving ourselves flaws and all?
Self-love is treating yourself with the same kindness that you would treat a friend. With work, family it's easy to skip self-love and self-care. It's essential to be self-loving and treat yourself with kindness and love. And when you do, you'll find a world of self-love and acceptance.
Set healthy boundaries for yourself, such as saying no to that event you don't really want to go to. Practise speaking up, clearly communicating what you need from your relationship, and asking for help. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and allow yourself to fuck up sometimes. Try not to strive for perfection. You are enough, and you don’t need to prove that to anyone but yourself.
It’s also important not to compare yourself to others. Chances are, you are only seeing the good bits of their lives, and they most probably have their own shit they have insecurities about.
Be kind to yourself. Do nice things for your body, soul and mind. Schedule time for yourself – whether that is to treat yourself or just to enjoy some alone time, or do something that you really love. Something that lights you up.
Practice positive self talk. Celebrate achievements every day – even if your achievement was just getting out of bed. Tell yourself everyday how great you are. If your brain hears it often enough – it will accept it as fact (which of course, it is!)
So be your own Valentine this year. Buy yourself a gift - even if it’s just your fav chocolate or a coffee. If you don’t have a significant other that's spoiling you, then take yourself for dinner, or order your favourite take out. Treat yourself as the most important person in your life… cause that’s what you are! The most important Valentine's Day gift you can give yourself is love and acceptance. Ignite your inner love spark and it will be evident for the whole world to see.