Kia ora (Hello) to everyone reading this!
My name is Shinaya and I am so grateful to be part of the CBF family!
I want to talk today about my fitness and mental wellness journey. The best place to start is with some background. You’ve probably heard multiple people say that they have always been a ‘bigger’ person and I am one of them. My weight first became an issue to me when I began to get bullied, made fun of and insulted because of it. The first real example that I can vividly remember was when I was around 8 years old at the local swimming pools. I had lined up waiting to go down the slide and there were two boys around the same age in front of me, they kept turning around and laughing and I started to get super self-conscious, started crying and ran away. That was the start of my journey.
Since then I would avoid exercising around other people because I was too embarrassed and worried about what they would think or say about me. Then as I got older, I started to find my voice. At first I felt that it was easier to agree with everyone, I felt that believing their words and opinions about me would be easier so that it wouldn’t hurt anymore, this was how I defended myself. However, now I will not hold back, and I will stand up for myself no matter who the person is. I love who I am and how far I have come since being a child.
When I was around 15/16 I joined a new school and because of my history I stopped eating because I didn’t want these new people to judge me. I started to starve myself which was something I had never done rather I usually would binge. I have this thing where I don’t seem to get hungry, but I don’t get full either- you could imagine how problematic that then becomes. I was losing weight in this period, but the difference is I was doing it in UNHEALTHY ways!!! I didn’t realise this at the time however, because I was just happy to see the scales going down.
Now, in 2021 I have lost around 20 kilos and I have found so much self-love and confidence! I have an Instagram page where I post all about my journey, the ups and the downs and I can’t stress how important having my @nayas_journey page is to me. It allows me to keep myself accountable, find motivation, inspiration and I have connected with the most amazing, beautiful people on this app who are on a similar journey. It is so awesome being a part of a community that is all about uplifting, supporting, motivating and encouraging one another; applauding each other’s successes and reminding each other when we are down that tomorrow is a fresh day!
My Instagram isn’t solely based on fitness but a large part of it is based on mental health and wellbeing. I have suffered (and still do) with eating disorders, anxiety, depression, disassociation, over-thinking and there are probably more that I’m unaware of! My whole purpose is to stress that this is totally normal and its OK!!!! I want people to feel comfortable to share their struggles with the world because there is still way to much ignorance and stigma around mental health which astounds me. I want to change the ideologies of people to become more aware, supportive, diverse, inclusive and all that good stuff.
Stop being ashamed of yourself, your body, your struggles. Start embracing it for a beautiful part of yourself. The best thing you can do for yourself is to be aware that you are allowed to have bad days, but you’re also allowed to have good ones. You will be in this body for as long as you live, so try to love it! Positive affirmations, meditation, journaling, gym, whatever it is to help uplift you and put you in a good mood- go and do it!!
I hope you were able to take something away from this. Before you go, remember; YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE WORTHY, YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I love you! <3